On this night, I ask Four Questions

Brooklyn, NY 2/20/2024

These days, all I have are messy answers for hard questions. Allow me to introduce myself; I am an Israeli- American queer Jewish person, currently living in Brooklyn, NY. I moved to the United States a year and a half ago from Israel. First I went to the mountains of Colorado for a year, I traveled a bit in the rainforest of Portland, and now I live in Brooklyn for the past half of a year. I moved here for school, for nature, and for adventure. The space has given me perspective, which I definitely needed.

When I moved to the States two summers ago, I was very ignorant of the nuanced cultural climate that lay ahead of me. I learned by having a lot of conversations with people from various different experiences and perspectives. I now feel like I have fostered more awareness.

This writing piece asks demanding questions and spells out some insightful answers. My questions inquire into the divide between Americans and Israelis. I ask these questions because I have felt hurt by the callousness to the suffering of Israel. This is why I focus on the American- Jewish community. I also ask questions focused on my personal demographic, age and culture. I feel relatively confident about my ability to answer these questions.

I don’t speak for them, trying to validate or justify their perspective. Rather, I feel frustrated by their answers, and I resonate with a collective Israeli frustration with the diaspora. So I write this to try and better understand them, and hopefully that will help us navigate our relationship.

That being said, I don’t speak on behalf of the 300 million citizens of the United States. I didn’t get to meet all of them yet, although I’m sure we’re all dying to get to know each other. I hope that my insights are helpful for you. I want to grow your awareness, initiating contemplations and stimulating conversations. I believe that the antidote to suffering is awareness, not ignorance.

You have to understand that my questions are coming from a place of frustration. I am currently in survival mode, as my people are fighting for their lives, in an effort to secure our existential threat. I feel frustrated that I need to defend my right to exist to people who can barely understand why they are supporting my extinction.

My questions are not directed at the majority of the American Jewish community. I am incredibly grateful for the support that I have seen by the American Jewish community at large. I was raised in a zionist community, and went to a summer camp in the States that my family and community are deeply involved with. A lot of my family lives in the United States, and cares deeply about what is happening. I want to emphasize this, because again, I am grateful.

I care about the relationship between Israel and America, and that’s why I ask these questions. These questions point at the fractures in that relationship, with the intention to grow awareness. My questions are asking why. I think it’s important to not only know what is happening, but to dig deeper and ask why it is happening.

So here is my first question. Why are American Jewish people so disconnected from Israel, especially amongst those who identify with my cultural associations?

Clearly these folks don’t really want to hold a conversation about Israel. At best they can entertain it for a few minutes. But never in depth, only enough time to declare a half baked position. Generally they are disappointed and frustrated. They’ll speak to how Israel is a burden for them, and their social standing with other people.

It can stem from an association of Israel being an interest of their parents, so by proxy, not an interest of theirs. In American culture it is not stylish to like what your parents, or family likes. The American individual holds supreme in their free society. Whatever you can do to distinguish yourself as an individual, you will be drawn to. So while the parents are enthusiastic about Israel, coming out of a survivors generation, the young Americans at best have a distaste in their mouth about the topic.

So the maturing American feels a powerful need to distinguish themselves from their family unit. They need to prove themselves as distinct, and different individuals. The most accessible way they have found is through establishing a unique political ideology or stance. Often in the Jewish American community, Israel becomes a political conversation. Historically, American Jews who support Israel have felt compelled to vote for whatever politician treats Israel the best. This prompts their children to rebel, supporting a conflicting group fueled by the need to express their individuality.

America’s psychological shadow side often shows its face within the divides of the Jewish community. The American dream’s shadow also shows itself in our community. When our ancestors finally arrived in the United States, they escaped existential hostility in Europe. All they had were their poorly translated names and dreams of a better future. They would believe an absolute miracle occurred, to know the position we are in now. They often saw their lives as the workings of miracles, being a part of the history unfolding in America and Israel. It was baffling, how we went from the lowest of the lows in Europe, to being a fully fledged democratic state.

How is it possible that we have really developed an advanced military, technology, resources, and society? American people my age can’t see it like that though. For them, Israel has been an established, advanced society for their entire lives, for as long as they care to remember. If anything, Israel’s existence is often seen as a threat to the Jewish Americans my age, rather than a miracle.

These days, associating with Israel is taboo at best. This makes American Jewish people ask themselves; Why would I risk the immediate threat of social isolation. The need for survival and resources is practically ancient history to them. 

Bizarrely, it reminds me of the ‘emancipated Jew’ in the post enlightenment era of metropolitan Europe. These Jewish people desperately wanted to leave behind the shtetl, and anti- semitism along with it. In exchange, they felt like they could integrate and be embraced into the emerging progressive liberal society. They all wanted to be just like everyone else, an individual.

So in the hyper individualistic society, it was understood that it is best to not feel so attached to collectives. They would ask, ‘Why would I care about the collective, especially if it feels like a threat to my ability to create a personal social life?’ They would really prefer to not get involved with all the complex baggage. They are trying really hard to become an individual.

I think it is also hard for them to relate, culturally. Americans don’t understand what it means to live with an immediate existential threat next door. Sirens and memorial day mean very different things in America. Ideas of self defense and a strong people, doesn’t hold any significance here. When Israelis are fighting for their lives, all the Americans can really see is a war on TV.

A clear sign of the diasporic desire to differentiate between themselves and Israel is their distinction between anti-zionism and anti-semitism. To me, it seems like a performative attempt to secure their social standings and political identification. They want to disconnect themselves from the suffering in the Middle East. This makes them embrace ignorance, because the reality feels too intense and complicated to understand.

By distinguishing between anti zionism and anti semitism, they excuse the societal hatred that’s around them. Their friends who are hateful to Israel, aren’t hateful to them, because they declare their anti-zionist views. This way, they are able to bypass and enable each other. Ultimately, this is an attempt to integrate into the prevailing dominant culture of the diaspora, while ignoring the intrinsic and obvious anti-semitism.

As we progress through my list of impossible questions, I come to my second one. Why are so many queer people identifying as anti- zionist?

This sure is a mess. It’s absurd that they condemn Israel, a society that embraces the most progressive values for LGBTQ indivudals. On the other hand, the Palestinian governing authorities ruthlessly execute their own people; Specifically targeting anyone they deem as not cisgender and heterosexual. Not to mention, the atrocious systemic sexual violence they inflict on those they terrorize, Israelis and other diverse inhabitants of Israel. The truth here is heartbreaking and impossibly absurd. But it seems like queer anti- zionist people refuse to believe the truth.

Many queer people in the United States have a deep mistrust and resentment towards the US government. So they have deep suspicions for any international politics associated with their government. There is a lot of bigotry and hatred in America. Queer people often feel like their government supports and perpetuates this hatred. So, when they see Israel as a military and political ally to America, they are immediately repulsed.

They don’t really bother to have an in-depth analysis of the history or cultural context of Israel and the Middle East. Just by glancing at the headlines, they feel like they have done a sufficient amount of research. To them, Israel is a military state funded by the US trying to dominate Arab populations. They see Israel as America’s puppet of colonial power, flexing democracies muscles for resource extraction and population control.

No real reason to bother getting into the details of the nitty gritty military operations. Instead, they have an urgent Instagram post to make. Their mistrust is so deep, that it’s even common to deny October 7, or that Hamas is really a terrorist organization determined to annihilate the Jewish people. Once a whole identity associates with an ideological agenda, like queer people identifying with anti- zionism, the unbreakable trance is set. Just by being queer, you now absorb this whole politically ideological agenda. These individuals will never get enough group think, to try and satisfy their longing for collective connection.

I believe this sentiment really can take root, when there isn’t a lot of education on the matter at hand. People who are overcompensating due to their ignorance really don’t like to hear this though. Telling an insecure ignorant person to learn more, only makes them feel more insecure and ignorant. It doesn't make them feel good and just fuels their frustration with the topic.

A further look into American queer culture, and we find ourselves in academia. Queer theory is an academic study that examines queer culture, identity and politics. Personally, I don’t think it’s the end all be all of the experience of being queer, but it has been pivotal in shaping American queer culture. Safe spaces were cultivated with the intention for people to authentically be themselves, predominantly in an academic environment. Well, at least in theory.

The academic environment actually turned into becoming a hotbed for political ideology. These kinds of spaces fueled themselves with political groups forming into identities. The detachment from society, and the desire to fit into the identity, created an echo chamber. These spaces are not safe for someone to feel comfortable and queer. Instead it is a place where people can comfortably contribute to misinformation and hatred.

Our third stop on this journey of outlandish questions into the current state of the world; Why are so many of these anti zionist people Jewish?

In the social fabric of the attempted cultural integration of the diaspora, associating with Israel can be met with hostility. From a social survival perspective, it is ironically perceived as wise to distance yourself from Israel. Additionally, anti- semitism is seen as a phenomenon from the past, a worry of older generations. It’s something their parents and grandparents had to deal with. They see the existence and need of Israel in the context of ancient anti-semtism. In fact, when they look at Israel they see traumatized people.

To them Israelis are traumatized by historical anti semitism, and never given the opportunity to heal. Israeli society now lives out their repressed trauma from Europe, by being an oppressive force to the Palestineans. They think that Israel is overcompensating and projecting. They see Israelis internalizing their trauma into perpetuating the conflict, to prove that they aren’t weak like in Europe.

Like I said before, a zionist American Jewish family often supports the American government that is good for Israel. This could be at odds with domestic social policies though, like queer politics. So the American Jewish queer kid thinks that their parents are supporting religious politics that are pit against their gender or sexuality. This only creates toxic resentment, and fuels political ideology on both sides.

It’s also important to emphasize the role of education in this context. It’s unheard of in Israel, for a Jewish person to not be aware of their own history. It’s woven into the daily fabric of existence. It’s true no matter how religious you are, or what kind of community you live in. This is not the case in America.

There’s a wide range of differing levels of awareness amongst the Jewish community in America. While some are definitely quite aware, many are not. I have often met Jewish people that are only just starting to think about what being Jewish means. This creates an identity with very little depth of awareness which can easily be manipulated. They might care about being Jewish, but they don't really know what to do with that. So they do some looking, and they come across a post about Israel. They don’t like what they are seeing in the headlines, and the rest is history.

Finally, I ask my last question; Why did I receive practically no compassion and empathy, and even felt threatened by American ‘friends’ after October 7? Why are they so silent and callous to Israeli suffering, if not also wishing to perpetuate it?

For starters, I don’t know. I think that people, specifically American’s, are incredibly ignorant. That is of course, no excuse. Absolutely no one I have met in the United States can have a conversation longer than 2 minutes about Israel. A lot of them are just overwhelmed, mentally ill, lost, clueless, confused, and generally incredibly frustrated with life and society.

Americans live in an incredibly individualistic society. The culture here doesn’t encourage citizens to grow genuine empathy, communication, or complex understanding. As sad as it is, it is also a huge widespread generalization of 300 million people. Here, the individual does not see itself as a part of any collective.

It’s all about the individual, and whatever is not about them, does not really matter. They are very absorbed in social media, which has them demanding the whole world to be summed up in 10 seconds. So nevermind complex history, perspectives, or understanding.

With their short attention span, and insistent need for quickly digestible stories, they refuse to hold any complexity. They have no hope for the development of their own society. The conditions of other societies only matter to them when they are trying to prove themselves as globally aware. What they truly care about is proving that they are intelligent and aware of the truth. Then, they demand that other people agree with them on their assessments of reality. Simply put, these people are clueless at best. And why wouldn't they be?

There is only enough time to make a video for instagram. So they share their perspective to define their whole political and social standing. This way they brand each other with tribal political identities. Their perspectives are formed through short bursts of divisive propaganda that they scroll through for entertainment. This is the context that they live in and it’s been that way for as long as they can remember.

In their individualistic society, empathy is not expressed through collective support, like it is in Israel. Instead, empathy is a performative expression. This is why they feel compelled to throw their opinions onto social media, and to never reach out with genuine emotional support. The idea of empathy being expressed as collective support is incredibly foreign to the individuals in the United States of America. It is a much higher priority to secure their position within their social standings, than to compromise on their own willful ignorance.

I feel called to write about all of this. I need to express my experience. I feel determined to try and make sense of reality. I believe that cultivating an awareness of what is happening empowers me. It motivates me to create a life that is grounded in truth, rather than illusion. And I desire to share what I find with people who are similarly motivated.

The irony of generalizing about Americans, emphasizing their overall need to be individuals is not lost on me. I imagine that this piece of writing could be frustrating to read, from their perspective. I wonder how people I know will react to this, if they resonate or if they think I am completely off.

Creating cultural analysis, especially about such complex matters is definitely humbling. Within a world of such individual experiences and perspectives, I definitely feel like I am risking coming off as blunt. My hope is to create a tapestry of perceptions that I have collected over the years. By doing this I am sharing a large analysis, rather than sharing any one specific perception as ultimately true.

With similar awareness, I hope that you can see that Israeli history is not something that can be summed up in an instagram post. It’s just like the struggle of  trying to quote my favorite authors. Ultimately, you need to read their whole book to get what they are trying to say. Trying to distill an entire person into a quote is an injustice to that person. Similarly, trying to represent your views on such a complex and deep topic like Israel in a couple of sentences on social media is also an injustice. To learn about something like this, you need to be able to sit with it, contemplate it. To understand the ethics, history, and the layered perspectives involved is a demanding pursuit. Anything short of this is callous and superficial.

It’s a radical act, to truly study history in pursuit of truth. The study of Israeli history and zionism is a spiritual journey to understand truth, religion, ethics, society, and identity. It’s a wild phenomena that I feel very passionate about cultivating awareness about. Many people prefer to bury their heads in the sand about it, trying to shield themselves with ignorance. Personally, I don’t find that to be rewarding or enriching in the long run.

Many anti- zionists would pass me off as a conformist. To me, that only emphasizes how little they truly know about zionism. If they read the philosophers of the early zionist movement, it would be impossible to call them conformists. I’m not trying to convince anyone of anything though. I’m really just trying to learn and create.

On the surface, I can imagine being just like the anti- zionists. The truth is though, it’s a superficial observation. My hair might look like theirs and we might go to the same rock climbing gym, EDM club, or coffee shop. When you look at my life though, in depth, you will see that we are not nearly the same. I’m sure the ‘emancipated Jew’ felt similarly when they looked at the metropolitan dwellers of Berlin. While I might look similar to the person who brands a ‘free Palestine’ shirt like it’s a fashion statement, I have never felt more alien.

I feel genuinely concerned with the way things are going, as I’m sure you do. How can we expect society to progress in a sustainable way, when our minds are so wrapped up with this nonsense? Although there is a lot of darkness, I feel hopeful. I know that we are smart, resourceful, and determined. We will find a way through this. The only way to transcend suffering is by cultivating awareness, and not through the worship of ignorance.