Ink & Insight

December 2, 2023 - Brooklyn, NY

As an aspiring tattoo artist, it feels ironic to attempt a writing piece on the topic of humility. Self expression can often feel confused with boasting an artistic ability that might not even be present. Performative attempts to contribute to the eternal song of life has plagued the art scene, as well as our societal discussions. The true artist walks on this tight rope, hoping to not fall into the trap of an inflated sense of self, making each step intentionally and with authenticity.

I believe that an authentic voice perseveres, and sings for itself, and for the great mystery of life that stretches within and beyond our known awareness. It’s in the paradoxes that swirl around the nature of life, in the eye of the storm, the artist finds inner peace and creates. To soothe their soul, to sing to their spirit, and to cry cheers to the thirst that will never be fully quenched, we are inspired by the flickering flame that will never go out.

In wonder, awe, and the perplexity of the mind, I see through the knower that wants to know, and I simply am. Yet, I still desire to know, what it is that I don’t, a never ending paradox that continues to feed itself in an eternal dance called learning. That’s life, as they say.

Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel speaks of how the radical amazement of being alive and aware of the mystery, brings us in need of responding to the grand paradoxes of life. “Prayer is our humble answer to the inconceivable surprise of life,” as he says. For me, the act of creating art is my prayer. It is not a strict religious imposition, rather an act that I feel like I must do. I desire to relate and to communicate, and ultimately and humbly, to try and understand.

I wish to contribute to the verses of life as Walt Whitman puts so beautifully in Leaves of Grass, “ That you are here—that life exists and identity, That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.” The idea really is that I feel called upon to be in collaboration with Hashem in co-creating reality. Through my art, I am given the opportunity to do that, and that opportunity humbles me, every day. A painting is created with countless brush strokes yet each one creating and contributing to the unfolding of the piece. A life is lived with a countless amount of breaths and each one vital to life’s continuation.

Currently, what humility is teaching me, is to hold the awareness that I don't know what the future holds. As a being that lives in the present, I must act in the present. Of course one can plan, and one should plan. Creating plans in the present with an understanding that I don’t know the future, creates a unique predicament. I feel assisted by a growing sense of intuition that helps narrow in my attention and perception of the future. This brings me to a presence of opportunistic humility. My attempt is to create a large amount of opportunity for a fruitful future, by creating a learning environment in the present.

Thinking opportunistically allows me to not need to be in control of any specific outcome. Instead of grasping for control, I am receptive to the future as the mystery of life continues to unfold. It is said that humility is the bedrock of learning. Only once we admit that we don’t know, we create the opportunity to learn.

Being fully involved and immersed in the creative process requires a receptivity and openness to change. As I grow as an artist, I cultivate my sense of inner listening. I listen, in search of what is the best way to continue unfolding the piece. While the painting might not always look beautiful, I put my trust in the process.

It feels like desperate times. No one really can say with certainty how our worlds are going to continue to unfold. This tension can often feel like a palpable collective anxiety. I have found that creating art grounds me, especially during times of intense emotional turmoil. Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel says, “Remember that there is meaning beyond absurdity. Know that every deed counts, that every word is power...Above all, remember that you must build your life as if it were a work of art.” It’s important for me to remember that although life seems riddled with paradoxes, and sometimes it seems like the light will only last for one more night, I can never truly know what tomorrow holds, so I will just keep painting.

I almost pushed away my dream to tattoo. After leaving Portland, I felt like tattooing wasn’t really a priority. I told myself, this dream can wait. While there were certainly more important things to take care of in the past couple of months, I found out that my dreams won't go away that easily. I received signs to continue unfolding the dream, given to me in a unique way that has me feeling supported and seen. I know that there is no time like the present to cocreate a reality where my dreams can flourish. This week I will receive my tattoo machine, and continue my tattoo journey independently, with online resources. Dreams don’t just go away.

Art has always made sense to me, especially when everything else can feel so absurd. I find refuge in the creative process, it helps me process a reality that never ceases to surprise me. By delving into my artistic development, I can process the absurdity, and come through to see life with more awareness. And with that awareness, I wish to make further connections. With myself, with you, with life, and beyond.

Feeling comfortable and safe is essential for my creative process. As I create, I unfold myself and am at my most vulnerable. This is the reason that I don’t feel comfortable pursuing my next tattoo at someone else's studio. I honestly don't feel comfortable in the performative culture of art currently. It feels commodified, rooted in instagram likes, pseudo-political activism, and half baked artistic styles. I am excited to have my own machine, so that I can explore my body as a canvas of my own artistic vision. There is no one I trust more than myself, in that sense.

I desire to tattoo because I want my art to truly touch people. Knowing that my art will grow and dance with those that wish to be tattooed by me, fills me with a deep sense of gratitude, fulfillment and motivation. I want to create connections that will last a lifetime, bonded through the intimacy of authentic creativity. I wish for my art to be a source of nourishment through the journey of life, to be a decoration and declaration of the refuge of our bodies.

When I create my own tattoo studio, I wish for it to be an artistically immersive experience of transformative joy. Filled with plants, art, and music, I wish for my fellow travelers to feel safe to be themself. We need to be comfortable in our engagement with art, and with each other, to grow and transform. When you are receiving a tattoo, you are nowhere but here. So let’s make here a place that you would want to be.

We are all painting our lives onto the canvas of reality, etching our strokes into the eternal skin of existence. To be in collaboration, with each other, as a response to the grand mystery, is a gift that we can contribute to every day, and in every moment. Each of us, within our own painting, within our own lives, alone and together.

I hope that you find inspiration to keep painting your life to be a beautiful and colorful one, especially during these dark days.